I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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