My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
