I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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