Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
