what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize