I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
