Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
