Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just high enough for therapy.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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