doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
