C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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