My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
