Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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