I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
