I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
