I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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