He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
