i may or may not be watching the land before time
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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