The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
