I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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