Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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