Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
