i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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