day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize