The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
