Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
