brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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