dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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