My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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