OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
