Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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