Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
