You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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