After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
