Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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