Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
