Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Oh god it's open bar.
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