fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She bit a glass in half.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
