beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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