with your own penis?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
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It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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