I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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