Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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