brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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