fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
