I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
