We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Sober January is a disaster.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
