Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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