I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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