D3 body, D1 cock
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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