with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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