can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
