Sry I called you an 8
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The uberlube is also flammable
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
