quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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