You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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