i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
