Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
