I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
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my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
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I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize