I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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