is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
