Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
