theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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