Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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