I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize