no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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