Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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