Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
